September 24, 2008

August 19 vs September 23

As most of you know, my birthday was on Tuesday. But for some reason it was not a day full of joy and happiness like a Birthday is suppose to be. I woke up early that morning sad, went to school sad, went to school again sad and then went home sad. For some reason it really hit me hard that Kiley was not here for my birthday. She was not here to run in my room, flip on my light switch and wish me a Happy Birthday like she use to do.  I know she knew it was my birthday, and Im sure she wished me a happy day in heaven, but it wasn't the same. And the craziest thing is that her Birthday was back in August, and I actually handled her Birthday better than my own. I don't know if it's because we were traveling so it helped me keep my mind of her or what. It's weird how tears will randomly hit you. You don't know why or where they come from. They just began to fall.  I know there is a reason for everything, but sometimes it's hard to remember that, and hard to keep moving on. I miss my sister dearly, but I know she is in a better place, I just wish she could have been here for my 20th Birthday. 


Anonymous said...

There are just some voids that no one can fill except the one who left that void. I never had a sister, so I don't know how that void feels for you...but, I did have a daughter and I know how that deep void feels for me. Hurts honey, hurts real bad doesn't it? I wish I could put a band aid on it and make it feel better for you..
Speaking of my make up is all streaked.(I was sad she wasn't there for your birthday too, she had a way of always making every event so much more fun and full of life)
I love that picture of you two..I also like your hair...really blonde..ahhhh...summer sun and the effects it has on already blonde hair!!
I LU...Mom
PS: Your new blog page is cute..but, I miss a picture of you when I first open it.

Steph said...

I am so sorry honey. My heart aches for you. I knew you were sad on your B-day and I knew why. I hope it comforts you that I know about the tears and about the hurt, just on a different level. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on your blog, sometimes at work I know what you are thinking, but it is hard for you to say it out loud. I love you sweetie and as I have said before I am so glad you are in my life

Anonymous said...

I know you miss her and will always miss her. Some occurances will hit you harder than others. You know she did wish you a happy birthday from Heaven and you will always have an angel looking over you in all you do.

We love you!!
Chad, Misty, and Peyton