August 19 vs September 23

As most of you know, my birthday was on Tuesday. But for some reason it was not a day full of joy and happiness like a Birthday is suppose to be. I woke up early that morning sad, went to school sad, went to school again sad and then went home sad. For some reason it really hit me hard that Kiley was not here for my birthday. She was not here to run in my room, flip on my light switch and wish me a Happy Birthday like she use to do.  I know she knew it was my birthday, and Im sure she wished me a happy day in heaven, but it wasn't the same. And the craziest thing is that her Birthday was back in August, and I actually handled her Birthday better than my own. I don't know if it's because we were traveling so it helped me keep my mind of her or what. It's weird how tears will randomly hit you. You don't know why or where they come from. They just began to fall.  I know there is a reason for everything, but sometimes it's hard to remember that, and hard to keep moving on. I miss my sister dearly, but I know she is in a better place, I just wish she could have been here for my 20th Birthday.