April 13, 2009

14 months

It's been 14 months since I saw your beautiful face last. I can still remember that day like yesterday. You were your cheery self, so peppy and excited that morning. You were running around trying to find something to wear, asking me if everything you tried on looked ok. We finally agreed on a beautiful outfit. You looked beautiful, you always looked beautiful. I was running late and I had a major test that day, so I ran out the door very quickly, not telling you bye. I always tell you bye, I never did NOT tell you bye. But I didn't that morning, I was selfish and nervous and scared all at the same time. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you bye, but little did I know that it would be one of the biggest mistakes in my life, for not saying one little word: B-Y-E. I miss you more than ever. I try to be strong, but sometimes its so hard. It does seem to be getting a little bit easier now, but it's still not fair, it still sucks. And I still don't get it. I still don't understand "WHY". Why did you have to leave me that day? I know you're in a better place, a much more beautiful and peaceful place, but I wish you were still here with me. Helping me, loving me, and just being there for me. It's not the same, I miss my friend. 
I love you Ki Ki, more than ever.  xoxo
There's just something wrong with this picture, we go from one happy family, to standing over your headstone.  It's just not right.


Anonymous said...

I did not mean for you to grieve, now left alone to cry
It wasn't my intention to leave you, forever asking why
As the burdens of life's worries slowly ebbed from my heart
It wasn't my intention to tear your soul apart.

Steph said...

I know sweetie, it is not right, I feel your sadness.